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:: Why is it important to study children?
“You reap what you sow” says an age-old adage that will hold true till eternity.
Children are the most prime part of a family life. Most of the times, they are the cause of priceless joy, at the same time may be the reason to engulf in worries. Children work like the forces of attraction among family members especially the parents. All the parental decisions usually revolve around their children’s interest.
The nuclear families today with both the parents working to earn the luxuries leave the children in desperate need of some companions other than parents to share their lives with. This and many other things have paved the way for many mental and emotional disharmonies among children. This in turn, has compelled many parents to take notice of their children’s non-material needs seriously.
Adolescence is the period usually when such behavioural problems are firstly encountered by the parents but the roots of these problems can often be traced even to an early childhood. The child’s behavioural lessons should start as early as the day one when the child first suckles his or her mother. The kind of bonding that is created here breeds the seeds of future relations. Some characteristics are inborn and some are acquired but those, which are inborn, can be cultivated and redirected in positive way.
Here are certain problems that have to be studied and solutionized. Many of these will surface in small children or may remain hidden till children become teenagers.
1.Social withdrawal and isolation
2. Refusal to go to school
3. Demanding or selfish attitude
4. Disregard for rules, responsibilities, family functions
5. Poor study behaviour and skills
6. Unfocussed or disruptive behaviour in classroom
7. Grades and school performance dropping
8. Erratic or emotionally unstable behaviour
9. Poor hygiene and grooming
10. Disrespectful or defiant behaviour
11. Involved in high risks and reckless activities
12. Using alcohol or other drugs
13. Stealing or theft
14. Destructive, threatening or violent behaviour
15. Self harming or suicidal behaviour
Identifying these problems and studying their evolution is very important keeping your head cool. No problem becomes intolerable all of a sudden. An apt response and potential solution are necessary. Those around children may have some minor or major problems like parental conflict or separation, neglect or abandonment, failure to provide rules with bonding, etc. These have to be studied in detail.
The children will go on repeating their misdeeds if parents or teachers will not check them in time. During pubertal changes, the growing teenager has strong sexual and aggressive drives but cannot control his impulses adequately. He wishes to assert, gain independence and enter into healthy competitive activity. His frustration in seeking independence leads to rebellious attitudes. He tends to withdraw from the surroundings, from the parental relationship. If the parents are patient enough and understand that this effect is due to sudden hormonal growth spur and give enough time for their kids and themselves to fight it out, this teenager develops into a reasonably responsible adult. Unnecessary aggressions on both fronts results in further deteriorating the condition.
Exploring the solutions for any problem is an important part one has to handle. There are always many ways to try before parents give up in frustration:
a. Parental education and training
b. Individual and group counselling and therapy
c. Parenting consultation and advice
d. Increased parental involvement and supervision
e. Special educational programmes
f. Change of schools
g. Outdoor activities or adventure games
h. Move to new area
i. Parenting by other family members
j. Foster care
k. Day treatment therapy programme
l. Therapeutic boarding school
m. Medication intervention
n. Psychiatric hospitalization
o. Police or law enforcement response
Parents and family members can have the most powerful impact on a child’s behaviour, attitude and approach towards life. Put simply, children are persuaded and impressed by the people they spend the most time with and the people who matter the most. So, a thoughtful understanding and study of their younger ones will certainly help brighten the lives of tomorrow’s nation builders.
Encouraging the child to be aware of good and bad, to watch good T.V. programmes, listen to good music, managing their time-table wisely by inculcating a few extra-curricular activities, weaning them away from bad company etc. are difficult tasks in themselves. But give your child the wealth of love, security, priceless gem of education and right values and be a friend of your child than just being a parent!
